Escaping the Prison transcript


 * [Game starts with Henry sitting in his cell]
 * Rupert Price: Oi, you! You're free to go!
 * [Henry smiles]
 * Rupert Price: [chuckles] Not really. [Opens small slot in the bars] But you've got a package.
 * [Throws package into Henry's cell]
 * Rupert Price: Don't get your hopes up. We've already checked it for anything useful. Haven't we, Dave?
 * Dave Panpa: [confused] What? Yeah, yeah! [laughs nervously] Of course, I checked it! I mean, if I didn't check it, I'd lose my job, and I don't want to lose my job! [laughs nervously]
 * Rupert Price: See you around. [To Dave] Free to go. [chuckles] I thought that was pretty good, didn't you...?
 * [Henry opens the package to find a cake]
 * [Cake's top opens and items are in it]

Sneaky Escapist (File)

 * Henry Stickmin: [Pick up the file] Aah!
 * [Henry looks around]

Window

 * Henry Stickmin: [Falling down] Aaaaaaaaahhhh!!
 * Fail Message : Protip: Look before you leap.

Cell door

 * Rupert Price: Hm?

Timeout 1

 * Rupert Price: [Kicks Henry] Bah!
 * Fail Message:You've got the reflexes of a statue...

Timeout 2

 * Dave Panpa: Hey! [Holds a taser, and electrocutes Henry with it]
 * [Henry gets electrocuted]
 * Fail Message: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you! There's another guard coming!

After the "Click!" events

 * Str8 Shoota: Aww tight!


 * Carlos Burdt: Hey, he's escaping!
 * [Henry closes the door]

Belt of Grenades

 * [Henry opens the door, and throws a grenade]
 * Str8 Shoota: Yo, check yourself!
 * [Suddenly, Henry quickly closes the door, and the grenade throws back to the janitor room]
 * [Grenade beeping]
 * Henry Stickmin: What the--!?
 * [Explosion]
 * Fail Message: Uhh... I don't even know what to say about that one..

Chair → Left

 * Captain Geoffrey Custard: Now, all in favor of more donuts in the break room, say "aye".
 * John Grits: Aye.
 * Jen Bruhn: Aye.
 * Johm Barley: Aye.
 * Jon Sascachawean: Aye.
 * John Farn: Aye.
 * [Note: John G., John F., Jon, Johm, and Jen all say "Aye." around the same time.]
 * Harold Ronson: Nay.
 * Captain Geoffrey Custard: Shut up, janitor. You don't count. Now, the next item on the...
 * [The underside of the vent got collapses]
 * John Grits: Get him!
 * Fail Message: Fatty

Chair → Right

 * Henry kicks the vent door open and onto to the ground, from the top of the Building..


 * Henry Stickmin: Hmm...
 * Henry looks at a nearby box.

Rope

 * Henry Stickmin: [Gets pain by a frictional heat] Ahhhhh!!!!!!
 * [Smashed to the ground]
 * Henry Stickmin: Ouuuughh... Hmm?! [Henry checks himself, realizes he's safe.] Ha!
 * [Money truck hit Henry]
 * Fail Message: This seems awfully familiar...

Parachute

 * Henry opens the parachute revealing several items, leaving him helpless.
 * Henry survived the fall, but suddenly the same items seen earlier hit him.
 * Fail Message: I think that was just a regular backpack. See what happens when you assume?

Jetpack

 * Henry Stickmin: [Tries to launch the jetpack, but it has run out of gas]
 * [FAIL: (A long fail message)]
 * [But suddenly, it did successfully launch]
 * [And finally, Henry is trying to drive with the jetpack, but he falls back (crashes) to the prison]


 * Harold Ronson: Oh, look! You're back!
 * Fail Message: It takes many hours of jetpack training before you're able to operate one.

NrG Drink

 * Henry graps the NrG Drink from the cake and starts drinking it. Everything begins moving in slow motion
 * Henry Stickmin: Hmm...
 * Henry pushes one of the bars in his cell and walks out the prison casually. After getting out the entrance Henry's heart starts beating rapidly and triggers a heart attack.
 * Fail Message: NrG- Side Effects include: Nausea, Headaches, Rapid Heartbeat, and possiblities of Stroke and/ or Heart Attack. Hmm... Well that's good to know.

Teleporter

 * Captain Roland Canterbury: Ready? Fire!
 * [Jonas Noogan fires pistol]
 * Captain Roland Canterbury: Oh, dude... Oh, man...
 * Fail Message: You just can't seem to get the hang of that thing can you?

Rocket Launcher

 * Henry Stickmin: Hmm?
 * [Rocket launcher transforming]
 * Henry Stickmin: [laughs evily]
 * [Fires rocket]
 * Henry Stickmin: GRAAAAAAA--!!
 * [Explosion]
 * [Uh... way to aim buddy...]

Lawyered Up (Cellphone)

 * Hubert Brown: Witness, please continue your testimony.
 * Winston Davis: Okay.
 * [The word "Witness Testimony" appears on screen]
 * Winston Davis: I was riding alongside with the partner in the armored van, but suddenly... ...spotted a bag on the side of the road. We got out and eventually decided to throw the bag in with the others. We didn't know there was someone hiding in there.
 * Felix White: OBJECTION! So, the defendant crawled into that bag in order to break into the bank, is that correct?
 * Vladimir VonBraun: Is it not obvious?
 * Felix White: Is it really that obvious? I have proof that the defendant didn't hide himself in that bag.
 * Hubert Brown: Well, then... What are you waiting for? Present this evidence already!

Disguising Bag

 * Felix White: Take that!
 * Hubert Brown: Is... Is that the bag the defendant hid in?
 * Felix White: Yes, but there is one thing that's been bothering me. If the defendant was really hiding in this bag then...how did he tie the knot from the outside of the bag?!
 * Vladimir VonBraun: What?
 * Felix White: If he was inside the bag, it would have been impossible for him to tie the knot from the outside!
 * Hubert Brown: But then, how did he do it?
 * Felix White: It's simple, he didn't.
 * Vladimir VonBraun: What?! What are you saying?
 * Felix White: I'm saying my client wasn't hiding in that bag at all, he was stuffed in there...by this very witness!
 * Winston Davis: [confused] What?!
 * Felix White: As you can see by this doctor's analysis, the defendant took quite the beating. While he was in the bag, he was unconscious!
 * Vladimir VonBraun: This...this is absurd!
 * Felix White: The witness attempted to dispose of the body, so he left the defendant in the bag, knowing he would drive by on the way back to the bank. When the witness and his partner passed the bag, he convinced his partner to throw the bag in with the others.
 * Hubert Brown: But, why would he do that?
 * Felix White: Why, to dispose of the body of course. There are millions of bags of money in that bank and the witness knew it would take a long time before the victim was found. But unfortunately for the witness, [flashback to Henry getting out of his bag and triggering the alarm] his victim woke up and tried to escape from his tomb. He was arrested on the spot and the witness thought everything was over. But it's coming back to haunt him now!
 * Winston Davis: You guys can't...He can't...This...THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
 * [5 Minutes Later...]
 * Hubert Brown: [Satisfied] Well, that certainly was an interesting trial. However, I am now ready to deliver my verdict. I find the defendant, Henry Stickmin...[the words "Not Guilty" appear on screen]

Anything but the Disguising bag

 * Felix White: Take that!
 * Hubert Brown: What is this?
 * Felix White: It's evidence.
 * Hubert Brown: And how exactly does this prove everything?
 * [An unknown sound effect plays]
 * Felix White: Well, uh, I was just kidding. Let me try aga--
 * Hubert Brown: [slams his mallet, disappointed] This is no time for jokes. I see no reason to further prolong this trial. I find the defendant, Henry Stickmin...[the word "Guilty" appears on screen]
 * Fail Message: What kind of third-rate lawyer did you hire?

Opacitator

 * Henry reads the instructions for the Opacitator
 * You'll Walk Through Walls - Gadget Gabe (2009) Just move the blue slider to the right and you'll become as opaque (That means 'see through' for all you uneducated folks) as you want! Not only that, but the more opaque you get, the easier it will be for you to pass through solid objects!!
 * Henry turns the blue slider and becomes opaque. But suddenly he goes through to Earth and presumably to the core.


 * Henry Stickmin: No, no, no, no!
 * Fail Message: You'd think something like that would come up in the beta testing.

Crowbar

 * Henry Stickmin: Ahhhhhh!!
 * [Henry woke up]
 * Henry Stickmin: Oh, uhhhhhhh.....
 * Burt Slim: Nyeh!
 * Fail Message: Henry runs from the Tom Hardly and Burt Slim

Timeout 1

 * [Henry is shot down]
 * Fail Message: Try dodging the bullets, n00b!

Going Up

 * [Henry slams into pillar]
 * Fail Message: Don't worry. I hear prison dentists are great!

Timeout 2

 * [Henry slams into wall]
 * Fail Message: It's always a good idea to watch where you're going. Especially if you're running away from the cops..

Going Down

 * [Henry slips on the floor]
 * Fail Message: lol Brawl reference! :D

Time Out

 * [Immediately, Captain Ed Roberts shoots Henry]
 * Fail Message: Come on! You were so close!

Success/Clicking

 * [Immediately, Captain Ed Roberts fires at Henry]
 * ''[Henry dodges the bullets, catches one ,and flings Captain Ed's gun out of his hand with it with it]
 * ''[Henry smugly blows his finger with a smoke cooling sound playing]
 * Jimmothy Pug: (Mumbled Stuttering)
 * [Henry winks and points his finger towards Jimmothy]
 * Jimmothy Pug: Aah!
 * [Henry proceeds to walk out without any of the police officers shooting him due to them feeling intimidated]
 * Badass Bust Out/Badass Way complete