Stealing the Diamond transcript


 * [Game opens when the TV turns on]
 * Mayor Fredrickson: As the mayor, I hereby declare the Tunisian Archeological Exhibit... [The camera zooms out, the TV is now visible in Henry's house] Open!
 * [ Henry realizes it's worth, as his eyes turns into dollar signs]
 * Mayor Fredrickson: Yes. Thank you. Myes. (only in the Remastered Version)
 * [Henry grabs his keys]

Timeout 1

 * Henry speeds past by the guards (Konrad Conners and Billy Barnes) and crashes into a wall.
 * Fail Message: Wow, you're off to a great start...

Kick

 * Henry kicks Konrad Conners but crashes into a wall.
 * Fail Message: [Well, you got ONE of the guards.]

Jump

 * The scooter hits Konrad and Henry rolls about on the entrance's stairs.
 * Fail Message: [Jumping off a speeding vehicle may not be the best idea...]

Ram

 * Henry rams the Conners to bust into the museum.
 * Zach Knut: Woah! Uh, we gotta breach headed towards the medieval section.
 * Security Guard: Uh, roger that. We're preparing to engage. Over.

Timeout 2

 * Henry gets smacked in the face with a baton.
 * Fail Message: [Good thing the janitors just got done buffing the floors. Could you imagine all the germs you'd be rolling in right now if they hadn't?]

Lance

 * Henry attempts to joust but the lance gets caught on the floor.
 * Henry: WOAH!
 * Fail Message: [Jousting. It's harder than it looks.]

Flail

 * Henry tries to use the flail but gets caught on the ceiling
 * Fail Message: [Stop hanging around and do something! Heh heh... Get it? Ok I'll stop.]

Shield

 * Henry prepares his shield while riding his scooter, deflects the bullets and knocks Billy's baton out, and gets past the exhibition room, crashing the glass causing to sound the alarm.

Timeout 3

 * Security Guard: Freeze! Put your hands up boy!
 * Other Guard: Don't move a muscle!
 * Fail Message: [C'mon! You don't have time to just stand around!]

Basket

 * Henry attempts to put the diamond in the basket but gets flung.
 * Fail Message: [Ah, torque. I bet you wish you paid more attention in physics class now, huh?]

Tow Cable

 * Henry attaches the cable to the diamond so he can drive with it, while pulling it.
 * Ted McAdams: ...and after that, they just up and arrested him.
 * Jacob Rose: Woah, really?
 * Ted McAdams: Yeah. That's when I decided I should probably get a different job. I figured night guarding is much less dangerous than driving a... [Notices Henry escaping with his scooter and the diamond] ... Crap.

Timeout 4

 * Johnny kills Henry with his gun
 * Johnny Panzer: (grunt) Yeah!
 * Rupert Price: Nice Shot!
 * Fail Message: [I can see all those hours of playing video games have really sharpened your reflexes! Oh wait...]

Branch

 * Henry jumps off his scooter on a branch
 * Henry Stickmin: Heheheh—Wait...
 * He looks in despair for failing to save the diamond
 * Fail Message: [Didn't really think that one through did ya?]

Rock

 * Henry throws the rock at Johnny probably killing him.
 * Rupert Price: No! Johnny! Officer down, repeat! Officer down!

Timeout 5

 * Samuel Mundy: Wave g'bye to your head, wanka!
 * Fail Message: [BOOM! Headshot.]

Sticky Grenade

 * The sticky grenade gets stuck to Henry's hand.
 * [Explodes]
 * Fail Message: [I always wondered how those things work.]

Bubble

 * [Henry shields himself with the bubble and escapes, but the bridge is out]
 * James Lancelot: Sir! Place your hands where I can see them! If you do not comply I will be forced to fire upon you!

Timeout 6

 * James Lancelot: You leave me no choice, sir!
 * Fail Message: [Dude, do something!]

Bribe

 * Henry Stickmin: Eyy?
 * James Lancelot: Bribery is a federal offense, sir.
 * Fail Message: [Strange... That usually works.]

Drive

 * [Explodes]
 * Fail Message: [I don't think you're gonna get very far that way.]

Jumble Hoppers

 * Henry jumps but is stay too short to climb up.
 * Henry splashes into the water [2 pts. deducted].
 * [Sweet flip, bro!]

Gravity Cap

 * Henry turns on his gravity cap, and floats. While trying to turn it off, no avail and he floats, presumably to space
 * [You're lucky! I've always wanted to go to space!]

Teleporter

 * Henry uses the teleporter, and teleports himself probably falling on the roof, but he successfully nailed it.
 * Henry gets behind of an air duct.

Falcon Punch

 * Henry tries to use his Falcon Punch, but no avail.
 * Henry Stickmin: FALCON PAW... awnch??
 * Jeff aims his at Henry
 * [Only one man is capable of that punch.]

Tranquilizer

 * Jeff Stickley: *yawn*
 * A dart goes through fan and hits Henry.
 * [Whoa! What are the odds of that??]

Invisibility Pill

 * Henry: *gulp*
 * Henry: WOOOAAAAAAAAH! (only in legacy version)
 * [It's hard to see when you're invisible, no?]
 * [Camera pans around]
 * [What happened? I lost track of you.] (remastered version)

Penny

 * Jeff Stickley: Oh look, a penny.

Drop

 * Henry falls from the bridge, breaking the glass loudly, probably injured and causing to sound the alarm.
 * [Did you really think that was going to work?]

Wormhole Rifle

 * Henry points his gun to the diamond creating a portal, and he creates another in the roof, but the diamond falls on it, destroying it and making Henry fall from each portal.
 * Henry: YAH!(7 times)
 * [I'm surprised you weren't able to get down there with that amazing portal technology. It's pretty strange how those portal guns work. I mean it combines the top scientific processes of our time. The portal gun contains a flux quantum generator which propels energy blasts with energy volumes of 4.23 GW with an average speed of 25 m/s. this speed is most effective because it allows the energy to be conserved while still maintaining a speed that is appropriate. The external plastic coating on the portal gun is constructed of a high polymer fireproof carbonfiber. this prevents the intense energy of the portal gun from burning the hands of the user. The intense energy causes intense heat. Oh by the way if you want a medal/achievement click here. I've heard that scientists still do not know what happens if two portals are placed on top of one another. The last time that was attempted... Well I'm sure you heard about it on the news.]

Wire

 * Henry uses his wire and falls until the rope gets tight slowing his fall and jumps a little to the ground.

Laser Cutter

 * Henry uses his laser cutter to slice the wall, but the laser sliced him instead.
 * [U GET CUT! Y U NO BLEED?! The answer is in upwards: A: The laser cauterized it.]

Plank

 * Ted McAdams: And after that, they just up and arrested him.
 * Jacob Rose: Woah, really?
 * Ted McAdams: Yeah.

Pick

 * Henry immediately breaking the wall with the pickaxe but the creeper approached him and exploded the wall.
 * Dave Panpa: Yeah so, apparently there was something in that cake, and he used it to escape, and then I got fired, pretty lame, huh.
 * Kurt Dietrich: Ugh, please. Shut up.
 * Dave Panpa: Oh. [Laughs]. I was just trying to have conversation. You know? Since, I mean, we're partners so... ...I just-just wanted to... ...Get-get to know each other a little bit. You know? I just kind of wanted have a conversation. Just, you know, just to lighten things up I mean... ...What's gonna happen in a museum? I mean really. Do you feel a draft at all?

Timeout 1

 * Kurt Dietrich: Hey!
 * [This conversation can't be THAT interesting]

Gun

 * [Henry tries to attack the guards but the gun isn't loaded. Kurt points his gun at Henry.]
 * Fail Message: Quick! Pretend you were joking!

Bomb

 * Henry throws a fake bomb and it destroys Dave's foot.


 * Dave Panpa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
 * Kurt Dietrich: [Fires gun]
 * [Why would they keep live bombs in a museum?]

Plane

 * Dave Panpa: AAAhhhh I gotta warn some– [Smashes into a pole]
 * Henry makes it to the grand exhibit's entrance, but Todd Slimmonds is guarding it.

Straight to the Diamond

 * Henry goes into the grand exhibit but is caught by Todd.
 * Fail message: Must be a light sleeper.

Straight to the "Retro Room"

 * Henry runs into the retro room.
 * He sees a door to the grand exhibit but it's guarded by Timothy Lewis and Joseph Jo.

Alien

 * Henry unleashes a metroid and commands it.
 * It eats Henry's head.
 * Fail message: Looks like they don't take kindly to orders.

Crowbar

 * Henry touches the crowbar and looks up.
 * A ton of head crabs fall on his head.
 * Fail message: Man, I HATE when that happens!

Goodball

 * Henry challenges guards to a fight.
 * Guards send out Joe.
 * Henry sends out MissingNo.
 * Game starts glitching.

Mushroom

 * [Henry causes a lot of noise and chaos in the museum with gunshots]
 * [Pterodactyl attacks Alexander Garb]
 * Alexander Garb: Yaghhhhhhhhhhhhh!
 * Clyde Jenkins: Uh, sir? You might wanna come look at this. I'm getting chaos readings at 10.6. It's coming from the museum.
 * Corporal Bill Bullet: My God. It's over 9!
 * Clyde Jenkins: Yeah.
 * Corporal Bill Bullet: I'm leaving this decision up to you corporal. Just hit one of those buttons to deal with this pressing situation.
 * [TV Laughter in the background]
 * Corporal Bill Bullet: Who's watching TV?! Get back to work!
 * CCC Worker: Woah! Sorry chief! I'm going back to work.

Divide by Zero

 * Clyde pressed the button.
 * A calculator landed on the floor.
 * A calculator typed itself 1337 and then type ÷ and 0, causing the museum collapsed into the void.
 * Fail Message: Sorry, I was in the bathroom. What'd I mi- Where'd... Where is everyone?

Nuke

 * Clyde pressed the button.
 * The countdown started, after the countdown, it destroyed the entire city.
 * Fail Message: Don't feel too bad, he probably camped for the 25 kills he needed to get that nuke.

Satellite

 * Clyde pressed the button.
 * Shoop da Whoop: BRAAAAGH!!!!
 * Fail Message: I couldn't resist.